i honestly do believe revlon is my favourite drugstore brand- it's a tad pricier than most, but you pay for the quality you get, no? i do find myself constantly purchasing their lipsticks and nail polishes. (although i have stopped buying nail polishes, as i now have a julep subscription, and my nail polish drawer is completely full!)

in other news, i cannot believe december is tomorrow...which means i can finally launch headfirst into christmas plans without people complaining that it's too early (you must remember, dear americans, that canadians have their thanksgiving earlier, so the "it's not even thanksgiving yet!" excuse doesn't quite affect us in the same way!) granted, i've been listening to christmas music for months now, despite my friends making fun of me for doing so...

walking down robson street and seeing the christmas store windows and lovely lights everywhere- it gives you such a cozy feeling. i attended the tree-lighting ceremony down at jack poole plaza yesterday, and despite the rain (which you'd think we'd be used to now, haha), it was so heart-warming to be surrounded by tons of people with their families, singing christmas songs...and the tree was so beautiful, once lit. and of course, i will never complain about getting a chance to see trevor linden!

anyone who's hung out with me knows i RARELY ever wear jeans/pants- in fact, it's a long-running joke between my friends to act shocked every time they do see me in a pair

...but they do come in handy once in a while :P

i only own one good pair of jeans, and these are them. i'm lucky enough to be able to fit into clothes from GAP kids (it's cheaper!) these have good stretching power, and i've owned them for 3 years or so- they've lasted through all my weight changes!

back in first year, i was excited to learn i could buy a pair of jeans from F21 for $12...but before long i realized it's much better to pay more for a good pair of jeans that would last, as my cheap jeans began to blowout. another issue i had with them was how low they rode on my hips- with my GAP jeans, i never have to worry about accidentally showing too much of my rear when bending over or crouching ;)

other things to note? i love these cashmere sweaters from aritzia. they're great for layering, and despite being thin, they are quite warm. also, i am obsessed with blue pinstripe, but here's a secret though- the shirt is my dad's. he doesn't know i borrowed it, shhhh.

I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be.

Continuing from yesterday's post, I suppose. I guess I should've seen this coming since my parents are still suspicious of me from yesterday. Dad cleaned my room today and him and mom started yelling at me because of junk food/nail polish.

Mom and I had the usual argument- 'why don't you tell me anything', 'what problems could you possibly be having when we provide you with food and a house to live in', 'if you have problems now, what are you going to do when you're older and have REAL problems?'

See, ma, this is exactly why I don't tell you anything. You're so quick to dismiss my problems as...well, non-problematic simply because you think I should have no worries. I told her that money has been a huge issue, and she says I shouldn't worry about it because she's paying for school. I argued that that was PRECISELY what I no longer wanted- she thinks I'm a burden and so I no longer want to be a burden. I'd rather pay for tuition myself. Then she got mad again and said that wasn't the point.

Going back to them never being proud of me- I stated as much, and she sharply exclaimed, "well, have you done anything deserving of my pride?"

Well. That was that. I'm sorry I can't measure up to my friends. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.

She then said..."if you're so unhappy, maybe you should move out."

In the end, we made up, but these statements are going to marinate in my head for a while. I can't say I'm not hurt. This is real tough love.

i wish i could blossom and grow

but

i feel like i'm wilting